Pages

Sunday, April 6, 2014

You know you're getting spanked for that...

Yup, that's what he said.  What the hell?  We don't do "that" and it was so far out of context of anything anyway.  I paused a few seconds, admittedly kinda excited when he said that lol.  My mind is spinning quickly.  Aside from being a raging controlling bitch in general, I can't think of any one thing that stood out as being spank-worthy.  At least not in my house.  I'm sure many of you would be sittin' pretty for a week the way I've been.

What did I do?
You know
I didn't do anything wrong
Yes you did and you know what you did and your ass is mine
Really, I didn't
 You can't sweet talk your way out of this
(on the verge of being a little panicky at this point...) I cleaned the house and then made a really nice dinner.
The gravy was lumpy
(okay, I see where this is going now) No, my gravy was perfect.  The girl said she wished she could drink it and the boy tolerated it touching his other food.  It was good and you know it.
The chicken tasted funky.
No it was so good the kids were fighting over who got to rip which bones apart in search of meat tidbits.  It was perfect and you know it.
Dessert sucked.
Y'all ate every last crumb and the boy licked the plate.
You didn't serve fresh bread.  
It was frozen fresh, and just thawed.  It tasted good as new.  And every crumb of that was also eaten.
HA!  You didn't let the butter soften and  I had to spread cold hard butter on my soft old bread. 
 Okay you win...
That's right.  When I'm done I'm gonna make you come so many times you beg me to stop

(who is this man and what did he do with my husband???)

Fast forward a bit... kids are in bed and asleep.  Their bedrooms are upstairs on the other side of the house, yet we still wake them up. They think we're having a party with lots of clapping. 

Plastic coat hanger... ugh, the man seems to be doing some reading.

Surprisingly it didn't hurt, not in the slightest.  I'm wondering what the big deal is.  Granted my pain perception is a little different than most, but geesh this is nothing.  Which had me giggling a bit, and him trying harder and harder.  The ouchy of the all that nonsense eventually started welling up a while after we'd moved on to other yummy stuff.  And yes, then it started to hurt an awful lot.

It's really all a blur, probably too much wine went into the making of this story.  I don't think I begged him to stop lol, though I know I was trying to get away after a while.  I was held down, restrained in all sorts of ways, dragged back to my side of the bed a few times, and just thoroughly tormented until i couldn't take it anymore. Last thing I remember was being dragged back to the wet area my face held there by my hair until I fell asleep.  Yes, that's right.  I fell asleep with my face in the damned wet spot which I think took up most of my side of the bed.

Doing laundry this afternoon and I'm still wondering what this guy did with my husband :-)

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Why I (didn't) quit blogging

I seem to have escaped most of the March Q&A with my absence but a few lingering emails asked the same thing... where am I, why did I stop blogging, and what's going on?

I didn't go anywhere.  Y'all are still my morning reading.  Newspaper is far too boring/upsetting/f'ed up and plus I just really love the window into your lives.  I did delete most of my blog because it was a turning point in my life.  It's like burning an old diary, I guess.  The burning just coincided with me being too busy to fill my brand new one.

I opened a new business, one that i've been working hard towards for the last few years, but it's open now.  This means I'm working insane hours in the constant presence of other people.  Before, I worked/blogged at my bedroom desk (my bed lol) and nobody was coming nosing around the corner to see what I was up to.  So I've been very very busy and it is slowly paying off.

I get depressed every winter and this winter was much worse than usual. It all got bad when the weather got extra awful, my sir was no longer sir (by mutual agreement that it was best), my children went through this funky moody shit, and I had to rebuild a relationship with the emotionally empty husband who had lost interest in our marriage for a good chunk of time.

My husband and I went through a bit of a honeymoon phase and everything was wonderful.  And it still is, but more in touch with reality than it was. Oh, that honeymoon was fun though!  Lots of spanking, experimenting on his part i guess.  It's been a while now, a few weeks I think.  My birthday passed on Sunday without even the slightest mention of birthday swats.  Not really sure what to make of the whole thing.  Though he does a lot of giggling and told me a few times how much fun he was having.  I suppose it'll probably come back, hopefully.

Sex though... wow, everything I wanted, and some.  Too much fun!  Finding out there's things that sound all kinds of exciting to read, then in reality just kinda suck or it's just blah.  Then other stuff that sounds blah to my logic and then my body betrays me. 

I'm trying to be a good wife, trying to defer to his wants and opinions.  One big thing that is weighing extremely heavily on me is I had big plans coming up to meet other bloggers for a weekend.  He doesn't want me to go and I accepted that.  Doesn't make it hurt any less, especially now that I'm seeing exactly how the plans are unfolding without me.  Really, it's just not fair. And all I can do is cry. Stupid, huh?  I tell my kids to get over it, trying really hard to take my own suggestion and just f'ing get over it. 

And now, I can't really say I'm depressed, but I'm empty without a doubt.  I have a good life.  I have beautiful children who are smart and wickedly funny.  My husband seems to love me now.  I'm successful at what I do for a living.  I accomplish more in a day than most can come close to.  People superficially like me.  I got a thank you card yesterday for being an awesome boss!  Yet there's something deep down that's missing.  I made friends here, friends became personal, and people move on from this whole blogging thing and go separate ways.  I miss those I got close to, I miss those I was getting to know, I even miss those that have no clue who I am.

So all in all it's just a kinda sucky point in my life deep inside even though it's amazingly perfect to the part everbody else is allowed to see.  So c'mon spring.  Enough of this crap!

Friday, March 7, 2014

Answers for EsMay, Fiona, Kim, maryanne, tori, jennelle, kenzie, bleuame, and somebody

I'm sorry for taking so long on this and I wish I'd been able to get my s--- together enough to ask others more than I did.  Work has me tied up every waking second of my life right now.  It's got to get better, right?


From Es May: What has been your greatest joy so far as you and your husbands take these new steps in your relationship?
I feel loved again and that's without a doubt the greatest thing I've felt in a long time.   And we're learning how to talk.  You know like normal people do.  

From Fiona:
1. What have you learned about your submission so far? That's really tough for me to answer because I haven't been able to explore it as much as I'd like to have.  I know this is a part of me.  I know it's something I wish I could explore, but not really sure my husband is one I want to explore that with.  Not that I'm planning to do anything crazy, I just think submission (outside of sex) is something not likely to be explored much with him.  And with him is where I am.
2. What is a fantasy that you have relating to your kink? I want to get spanked in public.  No not like that.  I want it to be a couple swats, over clothes, that someone catches.  Preferably somebody I know, but somebody who doesn't know any of this stuff. 
3. What is your favorite (and least) trait of your husbands? My favorite thing is his intelligence.  I'm not one who's physically attracted to a brain, so not that.  I'm attracted to him because I am.  What I like is being able to talk about this or that and be on par with each other.  He might not know what I'm talking about, or what he is, but we both "get it" quick enough.  Past relationships I was often left feeling like I had to dumb down conversation.  Least favorite trait of his is his lack of communication skills.  He overreacts without enough information and is too stubborn to back down from his viewpoint even when he realizes he was wrong.

From Kim: what would your dream vacation be if money was not an issue? Disney World!  Is that awful? Aren't grown up supposed to want to explore europe or something?  I want to go alone, or with a friend.  No kids.  No husband, well okay he could come but I need a friend who's willing to go on all the rides with me.  And he needs somebody to ride It's a Small World with because I'm gonna decapitate one of those damned singing dolls if I get dragged in there again!

From maryanne: what is your favorite comfort food after a spanking? There's no need for comforting, it's not DD, no tears, no bad feelings or anything.  But since I have an extremely unhealthy relationship with food... I need comfort food to survive.  Anything with gravy or cheese or butter that's overloaded with carbs, really.  Yes chicken and dumplings is a big favorite.  Garlic knots.  Chili cheese tots.  Mexican food.  Spicy.  Oh, ok, as longs as it's not particularly healthy I like it.

From tori: 3 things that you really want to try kink wise?  This is a tricky one for me.  I've really done everything on my list of things to try.  More please!!!  There's a lot of stuff out there that there's no way I'd do it (so I say now).  There's things that I'd allow to happen but hold no appeal to me.  So yeah, pretty boring, huh?

From Jennelle: 
1. How did you come across DD/TTWD? It started a few years ago with a Maya Banks book that was left behind on a plane.  It was all so innocent.  I was bored and started reading.  Oh.  My.  Gosh. Do people really do this?  Um, yeah, so I kept it... not like the original owner could be tracked down anyway.  That led to other books, and the internet and no turning back now.
2. What's your favorite all time movie?
I think it might be Hangover.  Anything that keeps me laughing most of the time I like.  Don't like drama or bloodshed or sad stuff.


From Kenzie:
If you could buy a new .. toy, or kink related item, what would you buy? I like toys ;-)  I don't have one on my list, newer is always better though!
And a non kink one, what's your favorite song at the moment? We Are Young by fun.  That'll change tomorrow, or even this afternoon.  Usually it's the last one I sang in the car lol. My kids love that one so it was all three of us.  Surprised we didn't break any windows or kill any innocent birds passing by.


From Bleuame: Is there something in the kink/ttwd world that scares you but intrigues you all the same that you would want to try? Living like this 24/7, whatever "this" happens to be.  I want very much to try, but know it's not possible for me.  I think if I were ever in a spot to start all over again then I might explore that idea.

Somebody emailed about if I liked being owned and if I was looking for another master... can't find that email and dont' remember who sent it.  I wasn't owned and wouldn't be looking for that.  Maybe for a weekend or something.  Not as a lifestyle.  I think sometimes fantasies are best kept as fantasies

I know I'm missing some.  There was another email.  And joey did you ask something too? Lost it.  LOL I'm a disorganized wreck!

Monday, March 3, 2014

Questions and bullshit

No offense, but...
I am sick of winter.  I've had enough.  Yesterday in a sundress.  Today bullshit and schools are closed.

Okay I'm done.  LOL

It was brought to my attention that I'm supposed to be fielding questions this month.  I don't know what one could possibly want to know about me.  But there you go.  Ask away. Comment here or email chickieblog @ live.com

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Interruptions

I was in the kitchen washing breakfast stuff when his cold hands creeped up my back under my shirt.  I am always cold.  Excessively so, even with the heat on, even in summer.  He knows what torture this is!  My legs were pinned to the counter while his fingers came around the front pinching, twisting, pulling.  His hands were warm now.  Mmmmm... I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on his shoulder.

"MAMMA!"

(no clue how one would spell it but it's that sound when the needle gets dragged across a record that had been nicely playing some music)

"Mommy, which headband looks better with this shirt?"  I go help her with the fashion crisis which involved far more than hair accessories.  It's tough being 6 lol.  I helped her out and dropped her off at her activity.

Back home, I finished washing the pans, loaded the dishwasher, and started washing the table.  He pushed me face down over the table, my head pinned to the table by his fistful of my hair.  Groping and sliding my jammies down, just a little as the other child is in the next room.  Roughly grabbing my "cheeks" and almost kneading them.  I like this, it's like a massage almost.  It hurts a little but feels good.  Naughty fingers wandering...

"DADDY!  Daddy?  Can I go outside?"  It's the 5 year old now.
"No, everything is covered in ice and it's pouring.  And you're in your pajamas.  Go play."

I finished cleaning the table and started reading the paper.  He comes back in and shoves me back to the spot where we were.  Knowing it's not going to last anyway, I just kept reading the paper and let him fondle :-)  He slips my pants down a little and I hear his zipper.  "Kid is right there," I protested.  "Shhhh," as he begins pushing into me.

"MAAAA!  Have you seen my puzzle pieces?" 
OMG no I have not seen your &%#@ing pieces!  "Check under furniture and between the cushions sweetie.  Go play."

Off to the bedroom now, door locks are beautiful things.  Pushed down on my belly and pants all the way off this time.  Some yummy stuff starts again and I'm so close...

"MAAAA! I can't open your door.  It's stuck.  I think it's locked."  Oh, dear child, please just leave me alone for like 3 minutes.  I don't need much lol.  Daddy said something that made him happy and off he trots.

1.4 seconds later - "DAAAA-DDYYYY.... How do you spell warm?  Is it A or O?"  I'm actually wondering this myself, lying half naked on the bed.  3 minutes child.  Please, give us three minutes. 

It's just comical at this point and I'm giggling.  The mood that started at the kitchen sink was so long gone.  "What are you laughing about?"  Smack smack smack, more laughing.  Back to what we started, the giggles fade into quiet little moans, when...

"Mommy?  Is it your birthday?"
"NO it's not my birthday!  I'm very tired and taking a rest right now.  Please go play with your toys."
"Mamma, I heard clapping. Is it a birthday party?"

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Starting Over

I suppose this is about the time once again to start over.  I suppose some would start a new blog, while others would just leave it all there as it's been part of the journey.  Much of what was posted was coming from a place I don't want to revisit, ever.  Even though there were memories I cherish, it's a good chunk of my life I'm glad to say is behind me now.  It's time for a fresh start.

We, like much of the south, are covered in snow and ice at the moment.  Power is out and it could be days before it's back.  The power lines can't handle the weight of the ice and they come down. The generator is giving us power in the kitchen so the food is now safe and in the living room so we can put the TV on when kids start getting cabin fever.  We've got a nice fire going and it's toasty in here!

The husband and I are getting along and it's a happy home again.  I think the biggest thing has been the return of sex.  Lots.  I'm trying to be always "available" even if I'm tired or not in the mood... it's usually worth it ;-) It's like he's a different person now.  I'm realizing he may be a wee bit of a sadist though and wondering if I'm cut out to handle the monster I'm unleashing.

Yesterday we were also snowed in, he sent the kids upstairs with a movie, leaving us with some fun time alone in the middle of the day.  Then last night, he woke me up by doing horribly mean things to me.  I sleepily told him that I was too injured from earlier and to let me sleep.  His response was that he wasn't injured so he didn't care.  I suppose I should be horrified by that yet I kinda liked hearing it.  And so we did lol.
I saw this and it really spoke to me -
Forgiveness doesn't excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.

I don't need to dwell on the past. It's not productive.  This is not only a fresh start for this blog, it's also a fresh start for the two of us.