What did I do?
You knowI didn't do anything wrong
Yes you did and you know what you did and your ass is mineReally, I didn't
You can't sweet talk your way out of this(on the verge of being a little panicky at this point...) I cleaned the house and then made a really nice dinner.
The gravy was lumpy(okay, I see where this is going now) No, my gravy was perfect. The girl said she wished she could drink it and the boy tolerated it touching his other food. It was good and you know it.
The chicken tasted funky.No it was so good the kids were fighting over who got to rip which bones apart in search of meat tidbits. It was perfect and you know it.
Dessert sucked.Y'all ate every last crumb and the boy licked the plate.
You didn't serve fresh bread.It was frozen fresh, and just thawed. It tasted good as new. And every crumb of that was also eaten.
HA! You didn't let the butter soften and I had to spread cold hard butter on my soft old bread.Okay you win...
That's right. When I'm done I'm gonna make you come so many times you beg me to stop
(who is this man and what did he do with my husband???)
Fast forward a bit... kids are in bed and asleep. Their bedrooms are upstairs on the other side of the house, yet we still wake them up. They think we're having a party with lots of clapping.
Plastic coat hanger... ugh, the man seems to be doing some reading.
Surprisingly it didn't hurt, not in the slightest. I'm wondering what the big deal is. Granted my pain perception is a little different than most, but geesh this is nothing. Which had me giggling a bit, and him trying harder and harder. The ouchy of the all that nonsense eventually started welling up a while after we'd moved on to other yummy stuff. And yes, then it started to hurt an awful lot.
It's really all a blur, probably too much wine went into the making of this story. I don't think I begged him to stop lol, though I know I was trying to get away after a while. I was held down, restrained in all sorts of ways, dragged back to my side of the bed a few times, and just thoroughly tormented until i couldn't take it anymore. Last thing I remember was being dragged back to the wet area my face held there by my hair until I fell asleep. Yes, that's right. I fell asleep with my face in the damned wet spot which I think took up most of my side of the bed.
Doing laundry this afternoon and I'm still wondering what this guy did with my husband :-)